Thank you for being out in the world. I love you.
Since my last newsletter, there’s been a whole lot going on. You may have learned via other means…still, I’ll give a brief update here.On March 8th, just 5 days after running my first marathon, a doctor of radiology uttered these words in my direction while pointing to a screen, “I’d be lying to you if I didn’t tell you what I’m seeing right here appears to be cancer.”
A biopsy AND four days later, it was confirmed.
I received a breast cancer diagnosis. “Stage 2” and “invasive carcinoma” were among the words used. She also said it was “dumb cancer.” Meaning it was growing slowly. But the invasive nature had allowed the cancer to spread and there were multiple tumors on the right side.
It’s been 49 days since this wild diagnosis. I am doing really well, physically. I’ve been using years of training + practice on the mat — while also getting into all kinds of different movement modalities — to keep me connected to a knowing that I am living in a STRONG and HEALING body. I’ve been doing TRX, Pilates, Orange Theory, hiking, cycling, wandering in the forest with Michael, of course, lots of yoga…just doing all the many things that bring joy, peace, a little SWEAT and a lot of fortification! I’ve been using movement as a sweet way to spend time alone and also with my friends + community.
For the most part, I’m doing well emotionally. I ride the wave and that is exactly as it should be. I’m eternally thankful for tremendous support from my phenomenal husband, my mom and step-momma, the rest of my family, and again, our incredible community…oh plus, our furry, living hug of a dog, Addie.
OK. So, what’s next? The next aspect of my treatment is surgery, which happens tomorrow, April 30th at 1:30pm. It’s about a 4+ hour procedure and soon after I move out of surgery into recovery some incredibly beautiful human beings are offering a class in my honor at Yoga Pearl 6:45pm – 8:15pm. I’m thrilled to know that loved ones will be gathering to practice together. It fills MY HEART TO THE ABSOLUTE BRIM. One of my very besties, Tracey Coleman, is teaching a yin class. Two other dear loves, Emily Taylor and Tami Apland, are offering hands-on assists…all while the incredibly talented, Emily Dalsfoist, shares her magical voice paired with her brilliant skillz on the cello. I wish I could be there. If you go, please take pictures, make videos and celebrate together. I can’t wait to experience it through your lens. Send any pics and vids my way as soon as you can. It will make my heart explode.
Ok. I don’t have much more to say right in this moment. I will have plenty to say LATER as I tease out all the learning and growth to come from these extra-ordinary experiences. I’ve been on medical leave for a while but I hope to be back in June/July depending on the overall healing process and treatment determinations. I CANNOT WAIT to be back. I’m already scheming up a “come back” class in collaboration with some amazing musicians at The Redd on Salmon. So, please stay-tuned. That’s giving me something wonderful to look forward to…
Here is info on the Meal Train that the amazing Heather Jones graciously created on behalf of my family. She will continue to update it with any needs our family may have while I’m healing.
In closing, below I’ll share some wise words that I recently received from one of my early, beloved yoga teachers. Jeanette is the sweet soul who encouraged me to pursue teaching in 2006. Anyway, I believe her words are ones we can all benefit from hearing. “Tuesday is kind of like the culmination of your doctorate. Everything you have been studying, practicing and teaching is now laid out before you. Can you embody the words you have repeated so often to others? This experience will change you in profound ways. It will be humbling, jarring, infuriating and frightening and at times exhilarating just by the mere thought that you get to live this life…you get another chance.There are no promises…we don’t know how long we have…and yet we waste this beautiful human condition experience on the stupid shit. That is becoming more real for you each day.You have so many angels watching over you. Thank them. Sit in front your altar and celebrate this journey you have been gifted. Honor any fear as it will temper you and focus you.
You got this, warrior woman. Be gentle with yourself…love the process. Whenever the fear starts to overwhelm you, place your hand on your heart and repeat, “I am Love, I am love”…that is what we all came here for…to love and you have been so successful so far. And as they slowly put you into your deep sleep, say those words. Affirm your purpose.”
– Jeanette D’Antonio
Lots of love going out to you today and always.
Thank you for all the love and well wishes.
I will be BACK ON THE MAT WITH YOU SOON.